I think those two words cover it ;)
A little background for you as to why I'm awesome? Alrighty - here she goes...
So it started off with my coach, DK, sending me a link to Kristina Groves' blog. It's a letter that she wrote on her blog to Sidney Crosby regarding concussions - and in my opinion, it sums up my situation quite nicely. I really appreciated her take on everything - so much so that I teared up while reading it. I have found the last few months to be incredibly frustrating and there was some solace in reading that I am not alone.
So just prior to DK sending me this link, I too, suffered a bit of a setback in my recovery. I guess I just pushed too hard and my body said "ah ah ah - you are not ready". Now I feel like I did back at the beginning - to sum it up in one word: FRUSTRATING. I was experiencing all sorts of emotions and felt that more than anything I needed a change of scenery...so I booked a flight to Calgary to see my family (Becca, my sister, just bought a new house - so it was an excuse to go see it) and friends.
On my first day in Calgary, I went to the local Starbucks to meet up with a friend. No more than 10 minutes after we sat down, Kristina Groves walked into the same Starbucks! Now, this isn't as coincidental as you might think, given that my Mum lives a whopping 5km from the Olympic Oval where the National team speed skaters train - but I was surprised. In my head I had wanted to tell her how much her blog entry had touched me - and now, the very woman was standing in the same Starbucks. So I should go tell her, right?
Well in hindsight (with the help of the awkward conversation that ensued when I did talk to her), perhaps I could have approached the situation a little differently. But as it was such a disjointed conversation - it now (now that I am over the embarrassment) makes for a good story...
So yes, that is why I am awesome. Think before you act...or at least speak!
But the message stays the same - and for those of you who have read her blog - my brush with her is somewhat analogous to her brush with Sidney. Cute, right? Oh man, I sure hope so! It has helped me to see that other athletes are going through the difficulties and frustrating times that I am. My good friend MJ warned me when it first happened that I would "feel like I'm making things up, but you're not" and I have had to hold onto those words on a couple of occasions to help me keep my sanity!
So where do I go from here? What is next? The answer is a resounding "I DON'T KNOW". I have no idea on the timeline. I'm desperate to ride my bike and feel good, to push myself and feel fit, and of course to race. But I need to recruit all my patience because I'm dealing with my brain and I won't do myself any favours if I come back too soon.
Therefore, please excuse me if my entries are few and far between these days, as I don't have much to report on. But as soon as my body cooperates, I will be back out there soaking in the rays and making the legs burn. And hey, I've been in Ottawa long enough now that I should really give the cyclocross season a go!